Success in 5 Steps

Written by Ivan Staroversky | 25 February 2010

1. What do you want to have?

The majority of people have very little idea about what it is that they want. However, they do know that what they currently have is not what they want to have. If you were to stop and put aside what it is that you don't want and only focus on what you want, what would it be? In general, there are two kinds of motivation - away from and towards to. In order for you to be motivated away from or towards to something, you have to be aware of something that will motivate you. If there is nothing to be aware of, then there is no motion.

What is it that you want to have?

Most people have very little idea about what it is they want.  However, they’re sure that what they currently have in their life  is not what they want. So, for a moment focus on what it is you DO want, rather than the idea of what you don’t.

In general, there are two kinds of motivation – the negative – away from something, and the positive – toward what you desire.  It takes a motivator either way – whether it’s something you want to  avoid or something you desire.  Without these motivators, nothing would happen.

Most people find themselves focusing on what they don’t want as a motivator to move away from it.  The problem is, the more they focus on it the more they will eventually return to it.  If you keep on moving away from something without clearly defining what you do want, you’ll eventually wind up with more of what you don’t want!

2. What do you have to do to get what you want to have?

Knowing what you want is different from getting what you want! This doesn’t mean you should sit at home and visualize your successful future all day long but it does mean knowing what you have to DO or STOP DOING to get it.

3. What do you need to know or do in order to achieve your goals?

Once you have decided on what you want to accomplish, do you know how to achieve your goals?  Often people lack certain knowledge or skills they need to fulfill a goal.  Maybe you need to read a manual or a book, complete a course, watch an instructional video or do some research.  Be sure you’ve done your homework before you invest time, energy and money.

3. What do you need to know in order to be able to do?

You now know what you need to do but do you know how to do it? Sometime people lack certain knowledge or skills that they need in order to be able to do something. Maybe you need to read a manual or a book, finish a course, watch a video or do a research. Be sure that you know what you are doing before you will invest your time, energy or money into it.

4. Whom do you need to get into contact with in order to achieve your goals?

Your goal is to establish contacts with people who will help you to know how  or to do that which will help you to get what you want to have. It can be a long or a quick process, but other people will often have resources or knowledge that will help you. Who and where do you have to meet or associate with?

5. Whom do I need to lose contact with?

Do you often get a phone call from Bob or meet with Susan who constantly tell you how bad things are? Do you often act as a caring person for others and you listen to them for hours only to feel bad yourself at the end? Perhaps it’s time to lose contact with people who constantly waste your time and energy. Limit yourself so that you will only talk to these people on Christmas and their birthday. Minimize the amount of time you spend with people who are not moving anywhere in life.

Your brain works by using the principle of associative memory - neurons that fire together, wire together. Every time you see, hear or feel something, the brain interprets the signal by referring to your long term memory to try to find to find related information. Your long term memory consists of a neural network. Specific parts of this network are stimulated when you experience or remember something. For example, do you ever get an unpleasant feeling when you see someone bleeding from a paper cut ? Your brain interprets what it perceives by stimulating the neurons associated with the paper cut. Those neurons are further connected to pain which also gets triggered. Thus you get an uncomfortable feeling only by watching someone else get a paper cut.

Every time you hear or see something negative, sad or unpleasant, your brain triggers associated memories and experience. The more you talk or hear about negative things, the more you stimulate the negative connections of your neural. Neurons that fire together, wire together. The more you do this the stronger the neural connection becomes and the easier it becomes for your brain to recreate negative feelings. Your environment is constantly programming you.