Help Your Child Stop Negative Thoughts And Erase Bad Memories

Posted on August 24th, 2013

I recently noticed a new problem that is increasingly becoming common. More and more parents report that their children are being exposed to inappropriate videos and images on the Internet. Although, not all of these videos and images have sexual content, many of them can be scary or disturbing to a child. Even if you setup content filters on your computer like OpenDNS, there is just too much information out there that has the potential to create mental or emotional disturbance for your child.

Not too long ago, I had I worked with a child who saw a video on Youtube about Illuminati and the Devil. After watching this video, the child could not get rid of the images from the video in his mind and was emotionally upset. He had problems falling asleep and his parents reported that he became afraid of things that he wasn’t afraid of before. Luckily, I was able to help him “clean” his memory and remove a whole bunch of fears that began to grow.

Another parent sent me an email asking me how to help her six years old daughter who unfortunately stumbled across a video on Youtube, where she saw a boy and girl making out (only) kissing, nothing explicit. As she explained it, she has seen more flesh in the Lady Gaga music video’s then in the video that caused her problems. The little girl got an imprint in her mind that caused her to worry about what she was thinking about. This problem bothered her a lot because she was very intact with her beliefs and said that she was scared that God will be disappointed in her because she was thinking about “bad things”.

A Child at school also told her about a year ago that he saw a Zombi’s once and she has these pictures in her mind of Zombi’s chasing her and her teddy around. Luckily this girl’s parents were able to talk to her about this problem and explain to her that God would never judge her on that and she seemed OK. However, she still wanted these images out of her mind.

It is sad to know that so many children are being exposed to more negative and inappropriate content than ever before. However, this does not mean that you can’t do anything about it after it happened. Sometimes, problems get stuck in a form of obsessive negative thoughts or memories. To help you deal with this problem, you can shatter the negative thoughts or memories into small pieces and quickly get rid of them.

Even though, we have an amazing ability to remember things that happened a long time ago, the memories stored in our brain are not fixed.1 Our memories can be easily influenced by suggestion and psychotherapeutic techniques. The very act of remembering changes the memory itself. Every time we recall an event, the structure of that memory in the brain is influenced by the present moment feelings and knowledge.

The brain is not interested in perfect recall of the past as much as it is interested in updating information to make sure that the stored memories in our brain are still useful.2 This mechanism makes our memories less accurate but it also makes our memories more relevant to the future. Although, you can’t change what happened in the past, you can change how you feel about what happened in the past.

The brain isn’t interested in having a perfect set of memories about the past, instead, memory comes with a natural updating mechanism, which is how we make sure that the information taking up valuable space inside our head is still useful. That might make our memories less accurate, but it probably also makes them more relevant to the future.

Every experience has its own structure and by changing the structure of the experience, you can actually change the experience (memory) itself. What I mean by structure of the experience, is that every memory has characteristics such as color, size, location, brightness, and other qualities that hold the memory in the brain. Changing how the memory is represented in the brain can change how you respond to that memory. Depending on how the memory about the experience is encoded in the brain, you can try to use both techniques to help your child stop negative thoughts or “erase” a bad memory.3

Crazy Submodalities

  1. Quickly observe or play a movie of your problem. Determine the level of your discomfort on the 0-10 scale. Where 0 means it is not a problem at all and 10 means that it is a big problem.

  2. Watch it again in Black/White.

  3. Watch it again in Black/White and triple the speed of the movie.

  4. Watch it again inside-out. I am not sure how exactly your are going to do this, but  your unconscious mind will find a way.

  5. Watch it again backwards.

  6. Watch it again upside down.      

  7. Watch everything that is left on the screen in Oval form.

  8. Look closer at movie and notice that the entire movie is playing in a toilet. Pull the handle and flush the toilet.

  9. Reset your mind. Shift your attention on something else. Look at your ceiling, your floor and your shoes.

  10. Check your results. Think of the situation again, what is your response on the 0-10 scale.

Obsessive Thoughts Destruction

  1. Imagine your problem as a sticker on a windshield of an old car. Take a brick or a stone and break the windshield with the sticker on it.

  2. Imagine that your problem is projected on a big white screen. Take a torch or a blowtorch and burn It.

  3. Imagine as if your problem was a drawing on the outer side of a window. Imagine that it begins to rain. The more it rains the more the picture begins to wash away, eventually washing away everything that was on the window.

  4. Imagine as if the problem image was a reflection on the surface of a smooth lake. Suddenly, there is a strong hurricane covers the lake. After the hurricane is over and everything calm again, you notice that the image is gone and the lake is clear and smooth.

  5. Imagine that your obsessive thought is one of the images in a kaleidoscope. Shake it and notice how the picture drops into small peaces and turned into something bright and geometrically pleasant to look at.

  1. Goldstein, E. B. (2008). Cognitive psychology: connecting mind, research, and everyday experience (2. ed.). Australia: Thomson Wadsworth. 

  2. Lehrer, J. (2012, February 17). The Forgetting Pill Erases Painful Memories Forever. 

  3. Kovalev, S. V. (2009). Osnovy nejrotransforminga ili psichotechnologii upravlenija realʹnostʹju. Moskva: Profit Stajl. 

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